Humor

It’s summer, and that means it’s time for a fun photo quiz. There are 13 multiple choice questions in all, and most of them are as easy to figure out as a zakuska menu in Moscow. Are you up for it? Great. Answers at the bottom. The winner gets absolutely nothing—except the satisfaction of knowing that they are utterly brilliant.  

For each of the following, select the best description.

1. Waterhouse Stop
A. Unique guitar chord played by Mark Knopfler in Sultans of Swing
B. Place where steam locomotives took on water and fuel
C. Thin sheet of metal with a hole drilled through it that’s used as a camera aperture
D. The small pad that keeps a camera strap from slipping off your shoulder

2. SEI Extinction Meter
A. Old time light meter that relied in part on human vision to determine correct exposure
B. CNN’s infographic of endangered animal species
C. Darkroom safelight that warns when ambient illumination reaches 1 Lux
D. Society of Electronics Inspectors benchmark test

3. Instagram
A. Faux Grandmother rental service popular in England and Scotland
B. Breakfast cereal made from graham cracker flakes
C. Popular photo-centric social media platform
D. Original name of photos taken with Polaroid Land Camera (circa 1959)

4. Sunny 16
A. Breakfast beverage often served in geriatric centers
B. Concealable 16mm camera used during WW2 and in Vietnam
C. Gal pal sidekick of Casey Crime Photographer (radio show)
D. Rule that suggests using f/16 on a sunny day for best estimated exposure

5. Preset Lens
A. Nikon stepper lens used to burn EEPROMS
B. Lens that focuses itself
C. Lens type with mechanism that enables rapid setting of preselected f/stop after focusing at widest aperture
D. Brand of lenses sold by K-Mart during the 1970s (manufactured by Premier)

6. T-Mount Adapter
A. Clothing accessory that converts underwear into a swimsuit
B. Camera lens accessory that adapts certain lenses to a wide range of cameras
C. Pouch-like iPhone holder for popular undergarment
D. T-shaped tripod accessory that adds weight and stability to a tripod

7. Yodobashi
A. Chain of 20+ large camera stores in China and Mongolia
B. Chain of 20+ large camera stores in Japan
C. Sharp criticism aimed toward Star Wars character
D. Famous journalist who photographed President Reagan in Tokyo (1983 and 1986)

8. Ambrotype
A. Genome of Australian brown voles (Ambro microtus)
B. Scientific name for chicken egg with two yolks
C. Photographic process that produces 3D images
D. Photographic process using glass plates

9. Coma
A. Small dashed lines inscribed around some SLR lenses
B. Punctuation that most American do not know, how to use
C. Easily identifiable optical aberration that resembles a comet tail
D. Something you might slip into while reading most camera blogs

10. Concave
A. Lens that has a surface that curves uniformly inward toward its center
B. Brand of 35mm camera that was secretly made by Eastman Kodak
C. Lens that has a surface that is Apochromatic
D. Place where escaped criminals hide

11. Rolleicord
A. Large spool of cable used to connect studio strobes to a camera
B. Lower priced derivative model of Rolleiflex brand
C. Knock-off twin lens reflex 120 roll film camera sold only in East Germany
D. Original name of 120 roll film camera made by Franke & Heidecke GmbH

12. Pinhole
A. Small notch or depression that clicks when an aperture ring is rotated
B. Something you hope not to find in a tire inner tube
C. Simple camera that uses tiny aperture to form image
D. Stupid or dumb person. Oh, no wait – that’s pinhead.

13. Fotomat
A. Polish word for photography instructor
B. Rug found outside the door of camera shops in the 1960s and early ‘70s
C. Twin lens reflex camera manufactured by Yashica (also called “Yashicamat”)
D. Formerly a thriving chain of drive-through photofinishing kiosks

The camera at the top of this column—what is it? If you guess Rollei Instant Kamera you are positively correct. List price is 399 Euros and it uses 54 x 86 mm instant film.

Thanks for playing. Answers next week.

Just kidding. Answers below

1. C, 2. A, 3. C, 4. D, 5. C, 6. B, 7. B, 8. D, 9. C or D or B, 10. A, 11. B, 12. C, 13. D

—Jon Sienkiewicz